The Soup I Made

Warning: This is an even-less-edited-than-normal and more-stream-of-consciousness-than-normal post.

I'm supposed to be working on a project with a deadline this weekend, but have been thinking about Alex Pretti being killed yesterday and other current events, and that paper is not getting edited.

This morning I was making two kinds of soup and thinking that the most charitable view of Alex being shot by federal agents might be that the agents are super trigger-happy Keystone Cops and, assuming the one that said "gun," isn't also the same one who shot Alex (I can't bear to watch the most detailed video I've seen any more times to check), maybe the first shooter misunderstood the statement and thought that there was a warning that he was brandishing a gun versus that a gun was in the agent's hand. 

Then I was wondering why I'm trying to think about this charitably. If there was a mistake, admit it. At a minimum, acknowledge that this is a tragedy and state that you're committed to a full and objective investigation. Don't give guns to Keystone Cops. Don't flex your goonish muscle in every interaction. The administration immediately came out with a narrative and has doubled down on it, time and time again, even though it totally conflicts with the videos. Miller, Noem, and the rest think that if you repeat a lie enough times it will become the truth. Sadly, people may believe them, and not look to other sources for information.

I think I maybe was trying to consider the most charitable interpretation because I want to believe that people are honest, that people want to help other people, that people don't want to kill people. But this administration is lethal mix of people who are outright greedy, outright evil white supremacists, opportunistic power mongers, and/or egotistical/vain people. Time and time again over the past year, they've shown that they aren't honest, that they don't want to help other people, and they don't care if people die.

Of course not everyone is that way, just the people running the show. My neighbors here in Minneapolis are demonstrating the most amazing compassion for the broader community, care for each other, and outright love. If nothing else, the local folks (and my friends from afar, asking how they can help provide support) make me optimistic about humanity at the same time I feel such despair about the country. I gave the soup to one such neighbor, and it was a gift that - I was told - was massively appreciated. I got one of the best hugs ever in return, and it also felt great to do something for someone else.

There's a lot that we all need to be doing right now (calling lawmakers, helping people who are directly impacted, etc.), but one thing that everyone can do, regardless of their work schedule, kid obligations, and skill set is to do some small act of kindness for another person - even if it is just making a phone call, sending a postcard, making some cookies, or holding a door open.

Well, that was a year.

I normally do a Thanksgiving post to thank people for supporting my BikeMS fundraising, to reflect on my general good luck and strong support network, and to frame things optimistically for the next year. 

I couldn't really muster it this year, even though I am grateful and optimistic. I was going to do it, then, on my birthday in December as a "year in review" sort of post, but also had problems prioritizing it. 

This past year was hard. I am *so very* lucky to have weathered my job loss rather well (thanks to many of you!), but am still unmoored by the devastation unleashed by the current administration, which has affected my work, my colleagues, several of my friends and some of my extended family (personally and/or professionally), my community, and, well, the world at large. While I'm personally fine, I feel unsettled and drained and I have to work harder to really intentionally embrace the bright things and pause to recognize their value instead of cavalierly just living a privileged life. 

So, that said, here are some bright spots in 2025 for which I'm grateful. (Disclaimer: I'm typing this on my phone in the car. I'm the passenger, not the driver! Yet there likely are some typos and I can already tell that some of my photos will be weirdly oriented.)

January

My friend Molly and I walked around Lake Harriet. We didn't have much snow last year. (Molly still had her braces, and now her teeth are like something out of Hollywood!) Anyhow, Molly is a true unexpected gift in my life. She is positive, smart, magnetic, and active, and she walked me through how to start my own consulting business after the shit hit the fan. She is amazing and my wish for people is that they have their own version of Molly.

My former neighbor of 23(!) years/bestie Jen and I went to a class at a brewery with her sweet friend Heidi and made blankets. Mine is soft and I love to snuggle on the couch with it when the dog suggests that I get out of bed at absurdly early hours. 

February

About 60 of my colleagues and I were fired, effective immediately, at about 10:37 a.m. on Valentine's Day, about 2 hours before I was already planning on driving to WI to see my sister Molly. I guess the timing was fortuitous in that way! Special thanks to my friends, siblings, and cousins who reached out during that fraught time. My great friend Marcy - my very first MN friend, besides my dorm roommate (who I still talk to!) wrote me a note that I'm worth $300+$1 Billion, which still makes me laugh. I have a good support system. 

Given how dry the winter was, I got the special gift of taking my road bike out toward the end of the month.

March

My friend Kim not only gave me an amazing, free haircut, she also went for a ride with me on St. Patty's Day! She encourages me to express my true self. Haha.

April

My former division at CDC got eliminated as part of the HHS April Fool's Massacre. I already had plans to meet a public health colleague at the brewery in my neighborhood that night. I enjoyed the four-mile walk in the snow and appreciated being able to spend a couple of hours with someone who understood the implications and loss. My house looked cozy. 

Thanks to Christina at the MN Department of Health, Cathy at the American Cancer Society, Elisha at the CDC Foundation (a non-government non-profit), Annie at the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, Tamara at the National Association of Attorneys General, and Mark at the Public Health Law Center, I had work to do - for pay. I'm so grateful. The NAAG project took me to San Diego, where I got to see my long-time riding partner Matt (I miss our adventures, but am glad for him that he is on his own adventure!) and then got to head up to Orange County visit my sister Lori and BIL Shane. Hurrah!

May

In May, I began my biking season in earnest, starting with a pretty decently long ride with Laura and Carolyn, two core members of the group of women I ride with. We rode through Spring Lake Park to Hastings.

June

In addition to going to my niece's (CA) and nephew's (MN) graduations, we got to see Dan's brother, SIL, and one of their many kids at the beach in SC. This is the lovely view from their house. It was a great trip!

Also, one of m favorite people who worked at the CDC with me, Maeh, had an unexpected layover in MN. So we got to hang out for a little bit!

July

July is always great because of the TRAM. See my last blog post about that! The week before the ride, Dan, Haley, and I went camping. I can't rotate the photo on my phone. :) Her ears were in full bat mode here. I did a great bike ride, despite wildfire smoke, and Haley absolutely loved the waves and crayfish in Cass Lake.

August

I got to see lots of work colleagues, past and present, at the national tobacco control conference in Chicago (near the bean), which was really weird in many respects, given the cuts federally and related cuts to state health departments and non-profits. It was great to see the people I could, including Jennifer who came from Atlanta not to attend the conference, but to bring former CDC colleagues together for dinner. That's totally Jennifer, bringing people together. 

September 

I got to see current work colleagues and some other, former CDC favorites in Atlanta. I also did a really great long bike ride in Wisconsin. It was an organized ride, but did not have a ton of support, so I had no qualms about weaving together two routes to maximize my fun and see some of my favorite spots by my Mom and Terry's house. I enjoyed the free brat and beer at the end. Before heading to that area of the state, my dog Haley and I found a great Sniffspot by my stepmom's house. 

October 

October took me to my sister Molly's in the Bay Area. I got some quality time with my nieces and BIL and with Molly and her bestie Kate when we stayed by the ocean and hiked in the woods (we walked upright, even though the photo isn't). I also got to visit my friend Maeh (see June)! 

Also, I was able to get this great photo of two other super great friends of mine: Kristin and Susan. Steady positive strong forces in my life since 1994, when Kristin hired me, dared me to ask Dan out, and his good friend was dating Susan. 😀

Ah, shoot, it is sideways! 😀

November 

Well, here is a sideways photo my friend Jen (see Jan., which is funny because her IG name is "Jen not Jan") took the day after her amazingly wonderful wedding(!) in San Diego.

I'd share a photo from the wedding but I think they are not yet public. This was probably my favorite wedding ever (or at least tied for that honor?), and my favorite thing of 2025! 

December 

We did the Xmas family journeys we haven't attempted since 2019. Here's another sideways photo from by my Mom and Terry's. This is my exact favorite spot to be. We visited them after going to my stepmom Beth's, where Haley and I introduced Dan to the good Sniffspot, where we got Xmas cookies and raspberry jam!

So, typing this all out, slowly, on my phone as we head to my in-laws' house has made me feel even more grateful. 

Harvey, who I met on the BikeMS TRAM in 2024, came to Minneapolis this fall, and we went on a bike ride with Steve. Harvey bestowed on me the honor of being featured on his fake magazine cover related to optimism. He mined past blog posts (and still reminds me of them to this day). I'm sorry for the sideways photos. 

Harvey is a gem in this world, and I'm grateful to have met him. Surrounding yourself with optimistic and encouraging people like Harvey, Ian, Marcy, Molly, Susan, Kristin, etc., and, frankly, the whole lot of you, is helpful. I'm very lucky. 💜

So, what's in store for 2026? I'm still setting my biking goals. The BikeMS TRAM is in central Minnesota this year, near where I am at this moment, as our drive has ended. That's an event, but I will set bigger goals. I'm about due.

Thanks for helping me raise over $7800 for the MS Society last year. That's impressive! Here's my link for 2026, if you're ready to start the new year off with another donation! 

https://events.nationalmssociety.org/participants/Go-Maggie-Go